per/Simmons

It’s been a decade since I’ve talked about this—or perhaps I should say “ten years.”

I’ve put up with a certain amount of dumbing down and outright misinformation on a variety of cultural fronts over the years but I’m old enough to qualify for “curmudgeonhood” now and I’m going to take a moment to indulge my inner pedagog.

Despite the onslaught of “A Look Back at the ****** of the Past Decade” specials, IT WON”T BE THE END OF “THIS DECADE” FOR ANOTHER ELEVEN AND A HALF MONTHS!

Look, folks, the New Millennium didn’t start until January 1st, 2001. We tried to tell you a deca—er—ten years ago but no! Everyone wanted to party big time in 2000. A year early. Okay. 2000: Big Round Number! I get it. Blow off the math and join in the world-wide celebrations. Ignore the nattering nabobs who tried to explain how the calendar really tallies time. It is/was 2000! Party like it’s (sorry, Prince) 2001!

But are we going to go off calendar every 10 years from now on?

C’mon. Count using your fingers. Or your toes. Whichever you prefer as long as they’re two complete sets of “five” each. Go ahead: count.

Did you go: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10?

Of course you did. (Unless you’re genetically damaged.)

It’s a safe bet you DIDN’T go: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9!

THIS decade (along with the new millennium) officially started in 2001.

The NEXT decade starts in 2011.

I know it’s a little thing compared to the Big Issues, the Crucial Issues, that we grapple with as individuals, groups, tribes, nations, species…

But if we ever want to negotiate so that we’re all on the same page…

…shouldn’t we try to all be living in the same decade?

WMS

P.S. Don’t start any non-Gregorian calendar nonsense with me. Mayan, Julian, Chinese, Persian, Hebrew…a decade is a decade is a decade.

And there was no such thing as the “Year Zero.”

With the exception of a 1962 low budget Ray Milland flick.

And “ISO 8601:2004.”

‘Nuff said.